Dealing with Curve Balls
Sitting in the title office with all the paperwork in front of me, I fought to maintain my composure. I was within an hour of closing on my house and saying goodbye for good, but my emotions are not the result of letting go of my house. Rather, it was the shock of the unexpected curve ball that just hit me square in my face.
Months earlier I had felt the Lord leading me to let go of my house, and so I put it on the market. When it quickly came under contract, I felt the confirmation of letting it go and proceeded. But somewhere along the line there was a miscommunication and a misunderstanding, and though I knew I'd have an actual loss on my house from an accountants perspective, I had expected to walk away with some cash in my pocket. And that was where the miscommunication and misunderstanding had occurred. Now I was faced with a decision that required an immediate answer. Walk away and keep my house, or go through with it and pay out money rather than take any in, resulting in a $6,000 swing of what I had expected my bank account to be after closing and what it would actually be.
Feeling as though I had no choice, and knowing that I couldn't hang on to it (as I would quickly loose that money anyway if I kept it), I determined to suck it up and move forward. So as I signed form after form, I struggled to maintain my composure. Money I had anticipated and money that made me feel more secure about my leap of faith to YWAM vanished before my eyes...
On this journey of releasing control, I'm still fighting to maintain it. On this journey of trusting God for my security, I am still trying to provide for myself. Of course, I had attributed that expected money from my house to God's provision, but I quickly saw that it wasn't to be. That was not the means by which God was going to provide. But would He still provide?
So in this moment, I have another choice. Will I keep believing that God will provide or will I loose faith and fall into a pit of despair? The Reality is, that without believing, there is nothing other than despair. I cannot change my circumstances, but I CAN trust in God to provide. I CAN hope. And as I ask myself that question, I know... He WILL provide, as He ALWAYS has, and ALWAYS will. He has ALWAYS been and ALWAYS will be Faithful.
So, today I may be reeling from a curve ball, but tomorrow.... Tomorrow I will be celebrating a testimony of God's faithfulness and provision. Tomorrow, I will be celebrating a more free life.
I will go to YWAM. I will keep walking forward in the paths God has laid out before me. Today, all I need to do is keeping pressing on and lifting my eyes up to the ONE where my help comes from.
Months earlier I had felt the Lord leading me to let go of my house, and so I put it on the market. When it quickly came under contract, I felt the confirmation of letting it go and proceeded. But somewhere along the line there was a miscommunication and a misunderstanding, and though I knew I'd have an actual loss on my house from an accountants perspective, I had expected to walk away with some cash in my pocket. And that was where the miscommunication and misunderstanding had occurred. Now I was faced with a decision that required an immediate answer. Walk away and keep my house, or go through with it and pay out money rather than take any in, resulting in a $6,000 swing of what I had expected my bank account to be after closing and what it would actually be.
Feeling as though I had no choice, and knowing that I couldn't hang on to it (as I would quickly loose that money anyway if I kept it), I determined to suck it up and move forward. So as I signed form after form, I struggled to maintain my composure. Money I had anticipated and money that made me feel more secure about my leap of faith to YWAM vanished before my eyes...
On this journey of releasing control, I'm still fighting to maintain it. On this journey of trusting God for my security, I am still trying to provide for myself. Of course, I had attributed that expected money from my house to God's provision, but I quickly saw that it wasn't to be. That was not the means by which God was going to provide. But would He still provide?
So in this moment, I have another choice. Will I keep believing that God will provide or will I loose faith and fall into a pit of despair? The Reality is, that without believing, there is nothing other than despair. I cannot change my circumstances, but I CAN trust in God to provide. I CAN hope. And as I ask myself that question, I know... He WILL provide, as He ALWAYS has, and ALWAYS will. He has ALWAYS been and ALWAYS will be Faithful.
So, today I may be reeling from a curve ball, but tomorrow.... Tomorrow I will be celebrating a testimony of God's faithfulness and provision. Tomorrow, I will be celebrating a more free life.
I will go to YWAM. I will keep walking forward in the paths God has laid out before me. Today, all I need to do is keeping pressing on and lifting my eyes up to the ONE where my help comes from.
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