I Write...
...because of the never ending thoughts that flood through my brain and beg for some escape. Because a lot of times, my thoughts finally make sense once they are written... Because when i go back and read what I've written in the past, I'm challenged again...
The following excerpts from my "real journal" challenge me and help remind me of my first love. I hope they do the same for you...
"...I love nature. It so loudly proclaims God. In each whisper of the wind and crickets chirping. In the stars at night and the birds signing. I feel You. There is no place that I have felt peace like the peace I feel when alone with You in nature... The heavens declare Your glory..."
"...Today I thought my flight left at 9:30 am. But sadly I misread my ticket and after checking in and everything, I discovered my plane left at 9:30 pm...I guess there's nothing I can do about it so I've been trying just to breath and accept I have no control. That's a hard thing to deal with - no control. I like to have control. I like my life to be mostly predictable. I like knowing the ending to the story. But this isn't a movie I've seen before, nor is it a book that I can peek at the ending. Its just my life. I find out day by day, moment by moment what's gonna happen next. I could stay uptight and try to hang onto the reins, or I could let them go and accept again - I have no control... I always struggle to remember that He is in control and to let Him be. When my life gets out of its groove, my brain seems to partially shut down. I revert to the basics of life - eat, drink, sleep, work. They become my lifeline until my life reaches some measure of consistency. Then I begin to "live" again. The trouble is-while my brain is on survival mode, I lose touch with myself, my feelings, my Foundation. It is like I am at the cliff's edge- the precipice of change. There is a rope that I grip onto and cling to like my life depends on it - not realizing that if I let go, my feet will find a firm Foundation only a foot or two away. But rather than take the little fall to safety, I hang and hang - clinging till my hands and emotions are raw. When I finally let go, because I can hang on no longer, I fall the short distance, crumble to my knees and cry. I have hit the point of giving up and finally realize I can't make it alone... Father, I know you are in control anyway, but I give what control I may have or thought I had back to You..."
(that last little prayer could be prayed frequently in my life...)
"Lord, there is so much I'd like to do for you. I cannot do it - any of it - without You. Without You, I lose all purpose. All hope. All joy. Without you I have nothing. But with you... I may just overflow!"
"Wow. It just struck me how silly we are. We sing and pray for god to start a fire in us & we say we wish it were blazing; but when he starts the fire, its PAINFUL and we try to escape the flames. We don't realize he is answering our prayers. He sends a fire and begins to make us more like him, but oh how painful it is. So painful. So the question is, Do I still want the fire? Do you? Is becoming more like him worth it?"
"... When I pray, I KNOW more than ever that you are God and that you move in prayer..."
"Again, I come back and worship you. For despite my circumstances and feelings. You are good and faithful. Thank you that nothing can separate me from your love."
"God is such an integral part of who I am, I would be completely lost without him"
"I think its interesting that Peter had enough faith to tell Jesus to command him to go out on the water. Jesus did. So Peter did. And he walked on water - but although he already saw and experienced Jesus' power by walking on the water, He doubted and began to sink. His fear caused him to take his eyes off of Jesus and loose heart. Has God done something in my life that I've seen and experienced...but then began to sink in my fears and doubt? ... This passage could apply to so many situations, and I can almost hear Him saying "Why did you doubt?" just as he did to Peter."
"*Smile*Glad I got that out."
Of all I've ever written, the scriptures that I've written in my journal were the most powerful. It's crazy how I can know a verse, read it a million times, and then look at it again and just be amazed again because God hits me straight in the heart with its words... Words are powerful. Especially His.
Anyway, I guess I write because that is what I do... :)
Be Blessed today. Seek after Him. Pray for the people in your life. Pray for me as I pray for you...
The following excerpts from my "real journal" challenge me and help remind me of my first love. I hope they do the same for you...
"...I love nature. It so loudly proclaims God. In each whisper of the wind and crickets chirping. In the stars at night and the birds signing. I feel You. There is no place that I have felt peace like the peace I feel when alone with You in nature... The heavens declare Your glory..."
"...Today I thought my flight left at 9:30 am. But sadly I misread my ticket and after checking in and everything, I discovered my plane left at 9:30 pm...I guess there's nothing I can do about it so I've been trying just to breath and accept I have no control. That's a hard thing to deal with - no control. I like to have control. I like my life to be mostly predictable. I like knowing the ending to the story. But this isn't a movie I've seen before, nor is it a book that I can peek at the ending. Its just my life. I find out day by day, moment by moment what's gonna happen next. I could stay uptight and try to hang onto the reins, or I could let them go and accept again - I have no control... I always struggle to remember that He is in control and to let Him be. When my life gets out of its groove, my brain seems to partially shut down. I revert to the basics of life - eat, drink, sleep, work. They become my lifeline until my life reaches some measure of consistency. Then I begin to "live" again. The trouble is-while my brain is on survival mode, I lose touch with myself, my feelings, my Foundation. It is like I am at the cliff's edge- the precipice of change. There is a rope that I grip onto and cling to like my life depends on it - not realizing that if I let go, my feet will find a firm Foundation only a foot or two away. But rather than take the little fall to safety, I hang and hang - clinging till my hands and emotions are raw. When I finally let go, because I can hang on no longer, I fall the short distance, crumble to my knees and cry. I have hit the point of giving up and finally realize I can't make it alone... Father, I know you are in control anyway, but I give what control I may have or thought I had back to You..."
(that last little prayer could be prayed frequently in my life...)
"Lord, there is so much I'd like to do for you. I cannot do it - any of it - without You. Without You, I lose all purpose. All hope. All joy. Without you I have nothing. But with you... I may just overflow!"
"Wow. It just struck me how silly we are. We sing and pray for god to start a fire in us & we say we wish it were blazing; but when he starts the fire, its PAINFUL and we try to escape the flames. We don't realize he is answering our prayers. He sends a fire and begins to make us more like him, but oh how painful it is. So painful. So the question is, Do I still want the fire? Do you? Is becoming more like him worth it?"
"... When I pray, I KNOW more than ever that you are God and that you move in prayer..."
"Again, I come back and worship you. For despite my circumstances and feelings. You are good and faithful. Thank you that nothing can separate me from your love."
"God is such an integral part of who I am, I would be completely lost without him"
"I think its interesting that Peter had enough faith to tell Jesus to command him to go out on the water. Jesus did. So Peter did. And he walked on water - but although he already saw and experienced Jesus' power by walking on the water, He doubted and began to sink. His fear caused him to take his eyes off of Jesus and loose heart. Has God done something in my life that I've seen and experienced...but then began to sink in my fears and doubt? ... This passage could apply to so many situations, and I can almost hear Him saying "Why did you doubt?" just as he did to Peter."
"*Smile*Glad I got that out."
Of all I've ever written, the scriptures that I've written in my journal were the most powerful. It's crazy how I can know a verse, read it a million times, and then look at it again and just be amazed again because God hits me straight in the heart with its words... Words are powerful. Especially His.
Anyway, I guess I write because that is what I do... :)
Be Blessed today. Seek after Him. Pray for the people in your life. Pray for me as I pray for you...
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