Attention.

It is interesting how many times those who like attention dread it. Now if that didn't make any sense to you, then you haven't met me yet. Haha. In many ways, I'm the typical youngest child. I do love attention, but... Don't expect me to calmly and boldly speak with everyone listening... or sing with everyone's eyes on me alone... or stand up and act like I want to catch that bouquet coming my way. I'm more likely the one in the corner, avoiding eye contact, trying to not be noticed so I don't get chosen to do any of those things.

On the other hand, while I've had my bouts with "Mike fright" (fear of the microphone), I've seen God help me overcome it. My last year in school, I would do things and think about it later and wonder how I did it. I know it was God. The best thing about those times is that it WAS Him. I could never have spoken in front of 50 girls or prayed in front of the whole chapel or sang with Joel on stage the way I did if He hadn't been in me and with me. But my fear has been overcome because "the One who is in me is greater..." (I John 4:4b).

Many times I have felt God saying "I have called you according to a purpose..." And since its scripture, I know it is true. It is difficult though to begin to lay yourself aside and live according to that purpose. To allow passion for God to direct you. ESPECIALLY, when you know that may require you to give up some things that you hold on to. Sometimes we don't ask where should we go, what should we do, becauses we know the answer and are too afraid to take the steps required to do it. Of course, sometimes we just have no clue either. But MANY times, we just don't stop to listen... In my busy life, I pray I would never forget to take time to stop and listen and then, obey.

Haha. All this because of my initial thought about attention. Maybe I am like that with God as well. I want his attention, but I hide in the corner when I see him looking around asking, "Whom shall I send and who will go for me?" (Isaiah 6:8). Though I've cried on occasion "Here I am, send me!" Am I really prepared for what that means? It is only through God's grace and power that I am able to cry that out and step out...

What about you, do you want God's attention? And what do you do to get it??