Love Actually?

A few weeks ago, I began to think about what "Love" really is and what it requires of us as believers. If you read I Corinthians 13:4-7 in the NIV, and you think about it in the context of loving your neighbors or enemies as Jesus commands us to do, you may face a dilemma as I did. After all, "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." (I John 4:8 NIV). This dilemma caused me to ask for the input of some people I really respect and some other random pastors.

In the NIV, I Corinthians 13:4-7 can be summed up as stating, Love is Patient, kind. It does not envy or boast. It is not proud, rude, self-seeking, or easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love doesn't delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, trusts, hopes & perseveres.

It was the last section that I struggled with specifically. How do you trust an enemy? Is that even wise? Here is how my cousin answered:

"I will have to dive a little deeper for you latter as I am in Oman right now and unable to dedicate much time to study this very deeply with you. But an initial thought that God is the only one who has true Agape Love and we are to imitate that love in the same way he did. So one question to ask is how did Jesus love, He was God and even himself gave us the command to love our enemies. So a good thing to do would be to look at his response to his "enemies". Another good thought is in whom are we suppose to place our trust in. The person who is coming against us, or the God who made that person and can protect us no matter what happens. I also, am not sure about the wording "always protects and trust" The one I have by memory is King James and it says "Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things." Our job biased on this translation is not to protect and trust an individual that is hurting us, but to endure, and believe/ hope that God is able to reconcile the relationship if he so chooses. Our job is to to return evil for evil, but to do good, and be patient even wronged. So a word study of these words might be good. I will say that, I often see Jesus both confronting with truth, and moving his ministry away from those who opposed him. The same is also true for the apostles."

As he pointed out in his message above, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 in the New King James Version says, "Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

I also received some input from the father of a friend of mine who is a Chaplain in the army. He stated the following:

"Proposed definition of love: The accurate estimate and adequate supply of another person's need. Jesus accurately estimated that we needed a savior and He adequately supplied that need, at His own great expense......There are truly two levels on which these things must be addressed: a. Inner/personal/vertical relationship: This is our relationship with the Lord and our inner world. b. Outer/professional/horizontal relationships: This is where I speak THE TRUTH, in love. However, you cannot speak the truth with sincere love unless you FIRST have forgiven them in your heart, leaving it to God to be the Judge. "For we know him who said, 'It is MINE to avenge; I will repay...'" Heb 10:13. Jesus modeled this for us: "When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly." 1 Pet 2:23. Our tasks, then, are to forgive and then speak the truth with sincere love. God's are to keep the books and repay; He judges justly."

Some brief comments from my sister:

"I just did a study about how love is also discerning. The Bible also teaches that we are to hold fast to the good, and abhor that which is evil. 'Let love be without dissimilation, ahbor that which is evil, but cling to that which is good.' While loving a person, it does not mean putting yourself in danger. While trusting that they can change, ... that does not mean giving them full trust, for that would be undiscerning..."

The verse she referenced above is found in Romans 12:9. In the NIV, this verse states, "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good."

I also received some input from a pastor in Branson, MO, which I found extremely helpful:

"The Amplified version of verse 7 may help to clarify the phrase "Always
trust" as it says '7)Love bears up under anything and everything that
comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are
fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without
weakening].' Jesus commanded/admonished us to pray for our enemies therefore we can let God's love in us help us to be ever ready to believe the best of every person regardless of anything they say or do. Love's hope is fadeless and endures without weakening or changing from that position. Love will always believe the best of people even when they have failed you over and over again. God NEVER gives up on us. He constantly hopes for the best and each time we come to Him for forgiveness, He treats it as an isolated incident, forgives us and remembers it no more. While we were yet His enemies, Christ died for us, trusting that we would receive this act of
Love and be born again. He gave us a free will.....He had no guarantees we would change.....He understood we would still have to make the right choice. Love will act in faith and believe in people when no one else will. True Love will never fail."

Comments from a friend:

"Love... What is it? Love is A LOT of things and from what I gather, it had much more specific meaning in Bible days than now. I'm guessing you've heard this before but it is SO important and so I'll just throw it out there: Sturge - loyalty love like a natural connection between a parent and child/relative. Phileo - friendship love, like most people at NCU would have had Phileo for each - hey you're on my brother sister floor, "I love you man", friendly affection. Eros - sexual or physical love. Agape - selfless love, Godlike love - NOT controlled by affection. Now, you rightly pointed out that Agape is what was used in 1 Corinthians 13 and other passages and that is the "love" that God wishes that we have (for each other and him) but in the world we live in, it is greatly distorted. Example: I "love" the movie Hitch, I "love" chocolate, I "love" you, I "love" popcorn, I "love" taking a nap in my yard on a cool summer day,,,,etc etc. We have become SO used to hearing that word in all of those meanings, we have LITTLE regard for the amazing-ness of Agape and the differences in love that the Greek DID show....
Luke 6:32 says, "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them." And that IS agape - so sinners are not only capable of love but they are capable of AGAPE. What am I getting at? It is our charge, mission, challenge, opportunity to learn to AGAPE those who have DONE nothing to deserve it from us, after all, we've done nothing to DESERVE the grace of God and His agape love and thus we are given the opportunity to pass on that privilege. I think that it looks different on a few levels - I am the kind of person that always thinks there is a glimmer of hope in someone. God says a number of times that people will be held accountable for their actions.....Now, should you always trust and never make smart decisions when you're around people that hate your guts? No - but barricading yourself is something that will cause the world to continue as it has without anyone being transformed by the power of the gospel..."

One final comment that I received from a friend of a friend. I believe she quoted this from someone, but I'm not sure who:

"Do not waste time bothering whether you "love" your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone you will presently come to love him."