A Heart Revealed
Friday night.
At the close of a longer, more stressful week at work, I sit here reflecting on the mistakes and heart issues I discovered in myself this week. My mind wanders from scenario to scenario, my heart searches for justice. In my insecurity, the strong "man" inside myself threatens me. Wanting to rise up and fight. Wanting to make my own way. Like a spoiled child rearing its head and throwing a tantrum, my old self is crying out from the grave begging to come back to life and give me justice. I WAS in the right after ALL... Wasn't I???
My heart is saddened to realize, there were points in this week where my old nature did get its voice, and it made SURE it was heard. I failed. Facing the mirror is dismal. I see that, despite all my efforts, I've again fallen short.
I couldn't ask for a better dad. Not only does he give me permission to feel what I feel, and remind me that my mistakes don't define me, but in his compassion, he encourages me to move forward. To Move past my mistakes and make better choices in the future. I can't help but comparing my dad's love and grace, and kind guidance to my Father's. My God's.
Truth is, I feel like I"m doing pretty good most of the time. I am in control, usually keeping my tongue on a leash, being a good person, going to church, leading a small group, reading my Bible... and then... my humanity slips out and I am humbled with the realization- I still need my Savior as much today as I did the day I chose to follow Him.
Sometimes following Jesus means facing the hard reality of my own heart issues, and being willing to allow God access to them. Sometimes it means being utterly humbled, surrendering my "rights". One thing I know for sure, I do not have it figured out. I make mistakes, and I will make mistakes. I need my Savior, and the beauty of it is. He's like my dad. He isn't holding a grudge against me, or going to write my mistakes down to rub in my face later. He lovingly listens as I give vent to my feelings. He doesn't condemn me, but just like my dad, He compassionately encourages me to move forward. He doesn't define me by the mistakes I've made, but shows me a picture of who He's made me to be, and reminds me that in forgetting the past and pressing forward, I continually get closer and closer to the woman HE's made me to be.
I couldn't ask for a better Father. There is no GOD Like my God.
At the close of a longer, more stressful week at work, I sit here reflecting on the mistakes and heart issues I discovered in myself this week. My mind wanders from scenario to scenario, my heart searches for justice. In my insecurity, the strong "man" inside myself threatens me. Wanting to rise up and fight. Wanting to make my own way. Like a spoiled child rearing its head and throwing a tantrum, my old self is crying out from the grave begging to come back to life and give me justice. I WAS in the right after ALL... Wasn't I???
My heart is saddened to realize, there were points in this week where my old nature did get its voice, and it made SURE it was heard. I failed. Facing the mirror is dismal. I see that, despite all my efforts, I've again fallen short.
I couldn't ask for a better dad. Not only does he give me permission to feel what I feel, and remind me that my mistakes don't define me, but in his compassion, he encourages me to move forward. To Move past my mistakes and make better choices in the future. I can't help but comparing my dad's love and grace, and kind guidance to my Father's. My God's.
Truth is, I feel like I"m doing pretty good most of the time. I am in control, usually keeping my tongue on a leash, being a good person, going to church, leading a small group, reading my Bible... and then... my humanity slips out and I am humbled with the realization- I still need my Savior as much today as I did the day I chose to follow Him.
Sometimes following Jesus means facing the hard reality of my own heart issues, and being willing to allow God access to them. Sometimes it means being utterly humbled, surrendering my "rights". One thing I know for sure, I do not have it figured out. I make mistakes, and I will make mistakes. I need my Savior, and the beauty of it is. He's like my dad. He isn't holding a grudge against me, or going to write my mistakes down to rub in my face later. He lovingly listens as I give vent to my feelings. He doesn't condemn me, but just like my dad, He compassionately encourages me to move forward. He doesn't define me by the mistakes I've made, but shows me a picture of who He's made me to be, and reminds me that in forgetting the past and pressing forward, I continually get closer and closer to the woman HE's made me to be.
I couldn't ask for a better Father. There is no GOD Like my God.
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