As Light as the Wind

The wind is light and breezy, but a heavy stone rests in my chest and a battle rages in my mind. 

So many things float through my mind. So many burdens are weighing down on me.  I remember God’s invitation to cast my cares on him, and his reminder, he cares for me.  The thought of deliverance… almost too much to comprehend, but the hope of it stays there at the forefront of my mind… Another day passes. My schedule is too full... I find myself hoping for a big chunk of time to sit before him and find that deliverance I am craving, but when an empty day comes, I waste the day away and end it still desperate for change. Desperate for revelation. Desperate for something… 

A thought… “what if….” It flies around me like a firefly. A little flickering beacon of light that can’t quite be placed or caught.  Lies… What lies am I believing? The question confronts me, but my heart has shifty eyes that cannot keep a focused gaze and I find myself fleeing from the answer.  I am in a constant state of running. Running and hiding and running and hiding.  And then I realize, I am running no where at all, because the questions, the thoughts, the what ifs are all still there with me wherever I go.

God reminds me… I know his voice. And I hear him calling out to me. Trust me, he says.  Rest in me, he whispers.  But I can’t seem to rest, I can’t seem to stop… I have to find my salvation. I have to get my deliverance.  Desperate and confused, I settle into a chasm of despair.  Hunched over in a ball of pain, I plug my ears. I cover my eyes. I remember the passage..."'You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.” (1)…

But wait! There is hope. I see it still. That firefly flickering light… like a beacon of hope it beams on.  The curse was broken.  The price for my sin has been paid. The punishment was placed upon Jesus’! He stood in my place.  "For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” (2)  I can have peace. “Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” (3)   

There it is. The Truth again, standing right before me. Inviting me on a journey. Inviting me to freedom. "If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.”  Freedom…. Aw yes. Salvation. Deliverance.  

"So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed.” (5)

The sun is going down now on the day.  The breeze, still light and carefree, brings with it a chill.  As I face the night, my heart tenses in anticipation of a new day.  Will another day go by while I watch for deliverance?

But while I am waiting, transformation is taking place.  Do you see it? Even now, as I write, hope grabs the hand of truth and declares. Free. Not because of my own works, but because of his grace. 

There they go. Flying on the wings of the wind. My cares are being cast far away, and I find in its place a new load. A load so light and easy. A load as light as the wind blowing through my hair….


Footnotes:
(1) Matt. 13:14  (2) 2 Cor. 5:21 (3) Rom. 5:1 (4) John 8:31b-32 (5) John 8:36