New Adventure

I quit my job, put my CPA license on inactive status, am preparing to move, and am going on an adventure with the Lord!  Please go with me on a little journey in these next couple pages as I fill you in on how I got to where I am today.   

About a year and half ago I met a friend who God used to begin to restore music in my heart, and to heal places in me that had been broken over the years.  Songs began to pour forth out of me… Suddenly, I was back in a place where I could pour my heart out to God like I had as a child.  One night in July of 2013, after doing an “art therapy” session with some peaceful music and color crayons, I did just that. I poured my heart out to God and expressed my frustration with my life circumstances.  God spoke to my heart that night. He prodded me not to give up hope in my calling, but simply to trust him and be obedient in the little steps. 

Shortly after that, I felt God speak to me heart prodding me to take a break from teaching the kids at church.  Since I moved to Missouri, I have been teaching the 3-5 year olds at my church, and in the last year or so I had been teaching every week. I loved the kids dearly and teaching them was a highlight of my week, but I felt certain God wanted me to take this break, so from September to the end of October, I took off from teaching.

Though no thoughts of leaving my church were in my mind, during that break, I felt the Lord speak to my heart that Hope (my church) was not my home anymore. With that in mind, I began to pray about where the Lord was leading me. It wasn’t TOO long after that that a job opportunity presented itself.  I prayed about this for a month, constantly feeling the Lord prodding me to take a leap of faith.  I prayed about my current job and felt the Lord speak to me that I’d be leaving there within the next year.  During that same time frame, God began to speak to my heart that even Springfield was no longer my home.

One by one, he was prodding me to release what had been “my place” for so long. 

During this time, I admit, I made some assumptions about what God was doing and where he was taking me, and when things didn’t go as expected, I was lost and confused. Had I heard the Lord?  Yet this feeling that my church, my job, and my town were no longer where I belonged continued to press on me. Constantly I prayed about where I should go, but got no answers. Each time I prayed, I was left with one instruction. “Put your notice in”.  

For months I’d pray about it, and the thought would pop in to put my notice in. And each time, I’d question the Lord, “WHEN? And  WHERE are you leading me?” And I’d delay putting my notice in. 

One night, I went up for prayer at church. During this prayer time, one individual said to me “I just see you like the Hobbit running through a field saying, ‘I’m going on an adventure! I’m going on an adventure!’”  Another spoke words about a lamp being tied to my feet and the Lord showing me just the next step. Another night, a woman said she saw me on a cliff and that I was about to take flight.  Yet still with all these words of encouragement, I delayed putting in my notice. I asked the Lord for confirmation, and felt He said He’d give it. 

Around that time, I had a SOZO session at my church. Sozo ministry is a unique inner healing ministry aimed to get to the root of things hindering your personal connection with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit (thanks google for the definition :). In the beginning of my session, the leaders there asked me “if you could leave anything behind tonight, what would it be?” And my answer was “fear and control”. At the end of my session, when asked if I was able to leave those things behind, I was reminded by the Lord that it was a choice.

I made the choice, and as I closed us in prayer, God again spoke to my heart, “Just trust me and put your notice in”. So that very night, I went home and wrote my resignation letter. I asked him again to show me when and where, but with no answers, I selected September as my end date and felt peace knowing he would show me where. Within a couple days I turned my letter in!

As I was turning in my letter, I ended up having a conversation with a coworker and as she shared with me, God spoke to my heart. THIS was the confirmation I’d been looking for.  I had NO doubt that God was speaking to me, and that this was exactly what He had been leading me to do.  I also felt incredible peace about the unknown, because I knew he’d show me in time.

While God continued to confirm to me that I had done the right thing in regards to my job, I continued to hit silence in regard to the question of "what's next".  Slowly my need for control became agitated and frustrated... because my life felt out of control. My end date came nearer and nearer (my last day is Sept 2!), and I became more and more confused. More frustrated at my inability to adequately answer people's inquiries about what I was doing next, and more discouraged at my lack of peace when considering any one particular direction.

Admittedly, the last month had become more and more difficult. My hope was more and more discouraged. My faith more and more dim. My brokenness more and more apparent.  It wasn't until last week that I saw any breakthrough.

A few years ago my Grandpa was diagnosed with parkinson's disease and recently he moved in with my parents. With the move, plans came in for the need for another bathroom in their house, and another room in the basement... There were plans to sell my grandpa's house, which required work to get ready. Last week, while talking to my grandpa for a very brief moment, the thought occurred to me that rather than doing YWAM in September as I had been planning (but still struggling to find peace with any specific direction I'd chosen), I could instead move to Minnesota to help my family with all the things they needed help with.

So after many conversations and prayer in the past week, I had the peace that I had been looking for and have decided to proceed with this plan. For the next few months I will be preparing both my own home for sale, as well as my Grandpa's, helping to get the new room and bathroom at my parent's house completed, and with any other needs that come up with the family. Unless the Lord redirects me, I still plan to do YWAM in January, but regardless of what I do, I know that I am entering a season of NEWNESS. A season of preparation. A season that I expect to find rest and renewal in the Lord. A season that I hope to learn more about who God is and who He made me to be.