Just a pair of Sunglasses

It was just a pair of sunglasses, but these sunglasses were special. They represented something far deeper in my heart than even I realized.

See, I didn't buy them. Someone else bought them for me and left them on my pillow with a card. They just wanted to bless me, their card said. But somehow, this simple gift moved my heart incredibly deeply.

See, for years, I've denied that my love language was giving... and I still may debate it to some extent =), but I had forgotten that it DID mean something to me, so when I received this gift, it did things to my heart that I couldn't explain. I was moved... but more than that... I felt this incredible deep movement in my heart, and as I wrote a thank you card to these friends, I found myself sobbing as God healed a deep wound in my heart related to gift giving/receiving...

I had done nothing to deserve this gift, and quite honestly, I wasn't even sure how to return the love they had shown me... God showed me through them how deep his love was for me.

Beyond that, this kind gesture tore down a wall in my heart and suddenly, I saw a picture of myself as a child going from person to person to person asking the question, "Will you love me?" and the resounding answer was no.... "NOT Even with the love of the Lord" said a 5 year old girl in my kindergarten class....

I bought gifts for "friends" that would say they hated me... I searched for that "best friend" but she wasn't to be found... And after awhile, I began to believe the lie that Satan had been whispering to me all along...

Me. In and of myself. My love. In and of itself. Simply wasn't enough......

Instead I found I WAS accepted and loved by my teachers for being a good student.
I WAS loved by (younger) children for given them my time and attention.
I WAS loved by bosses for doing a good job.
I WAS loved for being honest and of good character.

But deep down... that placed a standard that demanded my perfection and deep in my heart I knew, I wasn't good enough and, one day, I would fail and be rejected again....  At least, that was the lie I believed....

A few weeks ago God delivered me from a spirit of fear and rejection, and I began to have revelation and understanding... I recognized that I had accepted the lie that "I wasn't good enough" as truth in my life, and I broke my agreement with that statement, because that is NOT what God said about me... He doesn't love me based on my performance, but simply because He LOVES ME. :)

Immediately, I noticed the transformation of my mind and a new GOD given ability to recognize the truth in situations that in the past caused me to feel rejected... but being the incredible loving and kind God that my God is, He then used a simple pair of sunglasses to bring even deeper healing for the wounds that were roots of my struggles...  It really wasn't about the sunglasses at all, but God's unconditional and incredible love, exhibited to me through these incredible friends :).

God has rejected my rejection and he has called me ACCEPTED, BELOVED, and CHOSEN.  I won't be surprised if I am rejected again (Even the Bible prepares me for that...), but God has shown me, it isn't about me, and it CERTAINLY does not and will not define me any longer!

Praise GOD from whom all blessings flow!