Standing Firm in a New Season

I feel so out of control.
I feel the weight of societies pressures. To be something. Do Something. Have a good career. Have a place of your own. Be indepedent.
Then I remember.
I had all of this, and I gave it up.
I had the career. The good pay. The independence. My own house. A good community. I had it all. But I gave it up.
I gave it up for a higher pursuit. The pursuit and the upward call of Jesus Christ.

I quit my job. I sold my house. And I went.
And HE was more than faithful. 
He transformed my heart and healed my heart in ways in ways I had never before experienced.
I felt the weight of the world lifted off of my shoulders.
As I released control.
As I released comparison.
As I released the opinions of others.
I was more free than I could have imagined possible.
My heart was expanded and as I was set free, suddenly I was able to see and love God & others in ways that I never had been able to before.
Wow! The goodness of God was tangible!

Then in God's incredible goodness, he gave me a choice.
He said. Choose.
Choose which way you will go next.
And after so many reminders, I made a choice. I chose, not based on a specific pursuit, outside of Christ, but my choice was quite simple.
I felt free from the pressure of trying to get my decision right.
And I felt CONFIDENT.
That even though I may be planning my course, I was confident that God WAS directing my steps.

So then.
Where has my confidence gone?
What is this confusion and insecurity that has crept in?
I can see the bondages that I was freed from are at my door. They want me back.
I made a choice and somewhere in the midst of the choice, I have forgotten my confidence. I have forgotten my freedom.
I have been distracted. Confused. Broken.

Yet it was for FREEDOM that Christ set me free.
He did not free me so that I would be bound again.
I will stand firm.
At the end of the day, the very most important thing is my walk with God.
Communion with Him.
And He has promised me,
He will NEVER leave nor forsake me.
So why would I ever be discouraged or afraid?
For God is with me wherever I go.
Even here.
He is here.
Always here.

Lord, this is my declaration. I will stand firm. I will continue to chase after you. YOU are the pursuit of my heart. NO other passion or desire can ever compare to you. I don't say this lightly, but I say it with everything in me. YOU are LIFE!  Today, amidst all the other decisions that face me, I choose YOU. You are my choice.  Throughout this journey, it has always come back to you. YOU are my choice.