Fierce Strong Love

There is a fierce and strong love inside of me that has looked for a place to land since I was just a small child. This love has landed in places where it was rejected but still it continued to search and search for a place to be poured out. This love is fierce and will fight for you even if you say you hate me. Even if you reject me. This love remains. It is not feeble or weak. It is strong.

So often I have become distracted with this deep need in me to receive this same kind of love. My heart has cried out, will you fight for me? Do you want me like I want you? Am I worth your time? Am I worth fighting for???

The truth is. I am. I am worth fighting for and I am worth loving. I know this just as certainly as I know it’s true for you. The liar comes in to steal, kill, and destroy. Over and over again he has tried to convince me that I am unlovable and unworthy. I am too much. I am not enough this or I am too much that.... he is a Liar. An absolute liar.

I am worth fighting for and being loved. I know this because that is the kind of love that God places in my heart for you. When I see you, I see your beauty, and these amazing unique qualities! I fall in love with who you are, and I can’t get you out of my heart because you are ingrained in HIS!!! 

He would fight for you and does fight for you!!! He sees your beauty even when you see your flaws! He sees your boldness and courage when you see your failure!! He sees your determination even in the face of your fears!!! You are his child and he would NEVER EVER give up on you!! 

I feel so overwhelmed with his love for the lost, for children and for each of you sometimes that I don’t know what to do. So often I have held back because I believed that my love was unwanted. It was too much. And there have been times I came to give something to you because I needed it too. It’s true. I need this kind of love. I am on a lifelong journey of learning to receive it from God, but he also made me to receive it from community and family here... he didn’t make me to be an island. He made me for community.

He made you for that too. He made you to be embraced and surrounded by love. He made you to be held up when you are weak and to be celebrated when you have victory! He made you to share your burdens with others and to help carry theirs too.... he made you this way because we are stronger together. 

I need you. 

I need you to let me love you. 

I need you to let me fight with you and stand by you! 

I need you to support me when I am weak and remind me of truth, and I need to be able to lift you up and encourage you when you are weak because I can’t bear to see you walk through it alone! 

Please don’t ever give up on yourself, and please, don’t ever give up on me.

I love you. I love you fiercely. 

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I wrote this tonight after some time talking to the Lord of hope deferred and disappointments and grieving.  Kris Vallotton says that when you feel the inspiration to write, you must stop what you are doing and write.  This is not a letter to any specific person, but rather it is to all of you, and it is to myself. It is a reminder of who I am and who my Father is.